Back! With a Vengance

It's been seven months since I've last blogged. Since then, I have switched from Core to Flex, back to Core. I got lazy on Core, eating more non-Core foods than Core foods. So I decided to switch to Flex. That worked out for a few weeks, then I went on vacation, came to Wisconsin and I've been struggling to loose anything. I stay on plan and exercise, but nothing. So I've gone back to Core. I forgot how much I enjoy it :) I like cooking in general but having the chance to try new foods (polenta, barley, lentils, bulgur) has been a good experience. And not being afraid to actually eat has been great (as opposed to on Flex when I would be counting points and not eating an apple or egg because I didn't want to use up my points). So it's been going well. I have a five pound goal of buying myself the second season of "The Boondocks". I'm at 167 right now. So that will be a nice purchase when I get down to 163 (I started this personal challenge at 168). I also have something set up w/ one of my linesisters to keep us motivated to workout. Whoever goes more than 3 days without working out owes the other person $5...and $5 for every day after the third day. So far, we have cancelled each other out once. But its good to check the Google calendar and see that she's worked out. Sometimes that's what motivates me to get up and do SOMETHING.

I have another issue though. Another one of my linesisters said that I should stop at 155. I am 167 now. My goal is about 140-145. That is at the top of the healthy BMI index. She hasn't been losing weight and I honestly feel like she's gotten used to me being the big girl on our line. I'm trying to break out of that mindset, but I don't feel like others are ready too. She's like...oh, I was 145 at one point, I was way too skinny. Okay, awesome. But I'm not you, we have different body types, etc. I cannot remember when I was last 145. Probably 7th or 8th grade. I want to be a size 10 and healthy. Like...healthy BMI. It just irritates me when other people try to decide how much weight I should lose. I haven't said I want to be 118. 145. But it makes others feel bad when they see you actually losing weight and you will soon be smaller than they are. I know my family is going to have something to say as well. More of my extended family, about me being too big one day, then too small. When my oldest sister got to her largest, they had all kinds of comments. When she lost weight, they either didn't have anything to say or said "Don't loose too much weight, men like women with a little meat on their bones." I don't know if this is just an issue in the Black community, where women are applauded for their curves. I'm not trying to lose my curves (I'm quite fond of most of them). But I want to be healthy with curves.

Thats all for now. Hoping to blog more often. And hoping for a healthy weigh-in on Wednesday.

Frustrated at Myself

So I was doing pretty good. Even though I indulged on Saturday when I was out with my girls (had this chocolate cake w/ ice cream) and a little dessert when I went out with another friend, I have been working out, trying to use my activity points to get under 35. What happened today? I'm not quite sure. I had this small corn muffin and a small piece of poppyseed cake during class. I thought to myself, I can burn this off today between walking and going to the gym. Then I got home, was very hungry and had the rest of friends General Tso's chicken. I tried to take some of the breading off of the chicken but I didn't realize I had about a cup's worth and it was 15 points! Dang it. Why did I not check it before I ate it. Then I ordered some Chinese food for dinner from a place that specializes in brown rice. BUT I forgot to order it with brown rice. So now I have this quart of shrimp fried rice and sushi without brown rice. I need to eat, so I ate maybe 3/4 cup of the rice and the sushi. I've been pondering this for a while...should I try to burn off as many points as I could today? Go to the gym, workout for as long as possible, lift weights, do the walk away the pounds tape. But I know it wouldn't change all of this. It can't undo what I did. Let's just go with an over-estimation of everything. I was at 32 points this morning. 4 for the pastries, 15 for the General Tso's, 8 for the shrimp fried rice and 4 for the California rolls. That takes me to 63 points. That's almost twice as many as I'm allotted for the week. If I'm going to gain weight, I'm going to gain weight. And I can't burn off that many points in a night. I'm still going to do the walk away the pounds tape. But I'm not going to burn out my body trying to lose weight before my official weigh day that is pretty much impossible to do. I'm going to drink my water quota, do my tape and some crunches. And think about how to do better next week. That's what its all about. And at least I will have something to point to if I don't lose weight this week (as opposed to working out and seeing no change). Focusing better more and more each day. And putting the rest of this rice in the fridge and taking it to my BF so he can eat it next week.